Washday Blues

Bleedin' Gums Murphy: The blues isn't about feeling better. It's about making other people feel WORSE, and making a few bucks while you're at it - The Simpsons (1989)

Recently I bought a new American washing machine, very similar to the one pictured above. I was very, very happy about it all because, ever since we stayed at our friends' place in Florida, I have lusted after one of these babies. (That last sentence will give you some indication as to how old I am because any woman who gets turned on by an electrical appliance has GOT to be getting on in years. Only old people and newlyweds think that a gift of something useful is OK!) Anyway, I was doubly excited because I'd also bought an excellent drier to go with it:Now, being American, these wonderful machines are LARGE and HEAVY. I ordered them online (saving about £100!) but that meant we had to get them in place and install them ourselves. Please note, that when I say 'we' in this case it means 'husband doing all the work while I hold things and give advice'. A couple of days later, after getting adaptors for hoses and pipes, altering plumbing, adjusting worktops and much grumpiness from husband and guilt from me, both monsters were in place (just), working beautifully and I am very, very happy.

At least I was until this morning when I thought I'd better complete the guarantee forms that come with my new toys, just in case they get sick and have to have very expensive doctors to fix them. I filled in my name, address and purchase details and then it said:

Model and Serial Number. Please APPLY the sticker from the back of this warranty booklet in the box below.

If you cannot find the barcode sticker, please enter your appliance model and serial number.

Of course, as is usual for me these days, there is no sticker on the back of the washing machine booklet. And guess where the Model and Serial Numbers are???? That's right, on the bottom right hand corner of the back of the machine. Which is standing like a monolith in the utility room with a dryer of equal proportions next to it, immovable and vast.

But it's the same with all cumbersome electrical goods, isn't it? You scrabble about on the floor setting up your computer, or printer, or TV, etc., etc., something goes wrong, you ring up 'technical support' and they say: 'What's the serial number?' And there you are scrabbling on the floor again to try to see this number printed ALWAYS in the tiniest font available and placed in the most inaccessible place that someone in the factory could think of.

Think I'll fill these forms in tomorrow.