Friday, August 31, 2007
My friend, Paul, sent me these pictures. I thought they were very funny so decided to share them with you:
Apologies to all who came here and didn't find any pictures! If you REALLY want to see them you'll have to let me have your email address.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Almost gave up on this one. Then I found this at a local shop, which made me happy. Because it will replace the one that was stolen from my front garden last year. They're called Darren, Dwayne and Derrick. And they will sit happily now in my back garden.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots - Rebecca West
You can guess just how interesting my life is at the moment. Yesterday I did try to do something original from my own brain but it required me to scan an old photo, which came out about the size of a postage stamp, so I gave up. I'm posting quizzes, funny pictures sent to me by friends and now one of those numerous emails that people like to circulate. However, this one did strike a chord:
Men Are Just Happier People — what do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
A wedding dress is £5,000 but a formal suit rents for £100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades!
You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Monday, August 20, 2007
My friend Judy sent me this the other day:
I think she saw it in Guildford. Thought people in Guildford were to posh for that sort of thing.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
|You Are a Purple Crayon|
Your world is colored in dreamy, divine, and classy colors.
You hold yourself to a sky high standard, and you are always graceful.
People envy, idolize, and copy you without realizing it. You are an icon for those who know you.
And while it is hard to be a perfectionist, rest assured it's paying off!
Your color wheel opposite is yellow. While yellow people may be wise, they lack the manners and class needed to impress you.
See........ I'm an icon................ chortle, chortle.......
Friday, August 17, 2007
There has to be evil so that good can prove its purity above it - Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism
|You Are 44% Evil|
You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
A team of researchers based at the Health and Safety Laboratory in Buxton, Derbyshire have spent a month and £12,000 of taxpayers money investigating The Role of Towels as a Control to Reduce Slip Potential in the hope that, at the end of their study, they could could reach a conclusion on the weighty matter of whether or not to use a towel to step onto after bathing. Unfortunately, the research was 'complicated' and they couldn't come up with any significant results.
Research that did come up with results was that done for child trust fund provider Family Investments. 530 women with young children were interviewed about their pregnancies and it was found that just 22 per cent of due dates had been accurate to within 2 days. A consultant commented, 'There are a huge number of births that are overdue.' I'm not sure what the point of this research was but it was stated that 'pinpointing an exact due date can relieve anxiety for families, wrongly predicted dates can cause difficulties in the planning, such as booking maternity and paternity leave.' It's amazing that no-one has yet claimed compensation for not being given a precise date! I didn't realise that this was a subject that needed research. I thought EVERYONE knew that babies arrived just when they wanted to and not according to plan!
Friday, August 10, 2007
This sculpture, Inner Compulsion by Peter Randall Page, are at the entrance to the Wellcome Trust Millennium Building, adjacent to Wakehurst Place, which aims to house seeds from 10% of the world's flora by 2009 in their seed bank.
These beautiful gardens and the house, at Ardingly in West Sussex, are owned by the National Trust and funded, administered and maintained by the Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew. I was last there in the spring and the magnolias were magnificent. Here are some more pictures for your edification:
Thursday, August 09, 2007
I was having a bit of a clean up in the kitchen the other day (I do sometimes, y'know) and thought I'd give you a bit of a conducted tour:
This is my digital radio which I acquired a year or two ago. I went to Currys, much against my better judgement. And walked out in a huff as I knew I would. Went next door into Argos and discovered I could get exactly what I wanted using my Nectar points. Great result!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
I am very remiss - the lovely Welshcakes nominated me for this award over a week ago and I haven't thanked her publicly. Well, to make up for it - oh......my.........God.......... thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Welshcakes, I'm welling up.
Not only do you receive this honour but you also have to make you own nominations, 5 in total, of those bloggers that you believe to write in an informal, chatty, friendly way. OK - here we go: Clare (lovely girl), MaryB (one of my first blogging friends), Jo (and not just 'cos she's my baby), Tuscan Tony (seems like a lovely chap and loves voluptuous women) and Scroblene (writes my kind of nonsense).
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN...?
It took five minutes for the TV to warm up?
Nearly everyone's Mum was at home when they got home from school?
Nobody owned a purebred dog?
When a shilling was a decent allowance?
You had to be home when the street lights came on?
Your Mum wore stockings that came in two pieces?
All your male teachers wore ties
Female teachers had their hair done every day and wore high heels?
You got your windscreen cleaned, oil checked, and petrol pumped, without asking, all for free, every time?
Cereals had free toys hidden inside the box?
It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?
Schools threatened to keep kids back a year if they failed. . .and they did?
When a Ford Capri was everyone's dream car?
No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?
Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a… “
Playing footy and cricket with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?
Stuff from the shop came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?
When being sent to the headmaster's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home?
And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savour the slower pace, and share it with the children of today?
Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.
Remember Nancy Drew, Laurel and Hardy, The Famous Five, Secret Seven, Biggles, the Lone Ranger, Phantom, Roy and Dale and Trigger at the flicks.
As well as summers filled with bike rides, cricket games, Hula Hoops, monkey bars, cobbers, visits to the beach and "conversation“ lollies.
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say,
"Yeah, I remember that"?
I am sharing this with you today because it ended with a double dare to pass it on.
To remember what a double dare is, read on.
And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.
How many of these do you remember?
Lolly cigarettes, pogo sticks, marbles,
Home milk delivery in glass bottles with aluminium tops (still get this)
Newsreels before the movie
Four digit Telephone numbers
45 RPM records
Metal ice cubes trays with levers
Reel-To-Reel tape recorders
houses made of cards
Anglo/Bazooka Joe pink bubble gum
MoJos/black jacks/fruit salads
Two bob for a gallon of petrol
Do you remember a time when...
Decisions were made by "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"?
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "boy or girl germs"?
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a catapult?
There were no Saturday morning cartoons with 30-minute adverts for action figures?
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?
The worst embarrassment was being caught playing doctors and nurses by your parents
Playing cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
Taking drugs meant the Polio shots at school
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown-up" life ... I double-dare-ya!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Ah! replied my gentle fair,
For up-to-the-minute name silliness we have, of course, Peter Andre's and Jordan's baby daughter named Princess Tiaamii - Princess because she's their little princess (aaahhh) and Tiaamii being a combination of the parents' mothers' names (Thea and Amy). I tried this out to see what I would have called Jo using this method and came up with Dorvy or Vydot. For PT, using the grandfathers' names, we would have had Hertho or, maybe, Tombert, neither of which are very attractive. It's a good party game though.
Just four here to get me going:
- Charleszetta Waddles (American nun & writer, b.1912)
- Eudora Welty (American author, b.1909)
- Bacchylides (Greek lyric poet (fl. 5th century) sounds a bit like a nasty disease
- Kinky Friedman (American singer, writer & politician) - yes, he sounds like a politician!
I was going to post about a couple of items I read in the paper todays....... but I need to refer to them and the cat's curled up and fast asleep on it. So I'll do it tomorrow.