Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Why there can never be true equality


The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots - Rebecca West

You can guess just how interesting my life is at the moment. Yesterday I did try to do something original from my own brain but it required me to scan an old photo, which came out about the size of a postage stamp, so I gave up. I'm posting quizzes, funny pictures sent to me by friends and now one of those numerous emails that people like to circulate. However, this one did strike a chord:


Men Are Just Happier People — what do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to t
urn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
A wedding dress is £5,000 but a formal suit rents for £100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thought
fulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades!
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Equality? Never.



6 comments:

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Love it!

jmb said...

This is too funny Chris. It obviously gave Welshcakes and me a laugh too.
We don't always have to be brilliant, or even ever, if we don't feel like it.

Chris said...

Many thanks Welshcakes and JMB. It's good to have friends!!

J said...

This is funny but I had to respond.

Men Are Just Happier People — what do you expect from such simple creatures?
Women Are Just Happier ---

Your last name stays put.
Changing your name makes it easier to hide.
The garage is all yours.
The house is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Your opinions about the wedding count.
Chocolate is just another snack.
Fruity things with umbrellas are just another drink.
You can never be pregnant.
You can never have children you didn't know about.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
If you DO, strangers will buy you things.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
If you DO, strangers will buy you lots of things.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
But they might fix your car for a smile.
The world is your urinal.
The zipper is not your enemy.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You’re never embarrassed to ask for directions to get there.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You’re not expected to know.
Same work, more pay.
You’re not a slug if your spouse works and you don’t.
Wrinkles add character.
No one ever calls you “craggy.”
A wedding dress is £5,000 but a formal suit rents for £100.
An engagement ring costs the same and I still have to pay for the suit.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
People never stare at you when there’s heavy lifting to be done.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
The occasional giggle doesn’t stop conversation.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Sandals are always an option.
One mood all the time.
Never have to explain your attitude.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
No one ever says you don't talk enough.
You know stuff about tanks.
Your head’s not cluttered with useless stuff from your childhood.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You never have to wear a jacket the restaurant gives you.
You can open all your own jars.
You can ask for help opening your jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You get all the credit if your mate “cleans up well.”
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Someone will always invite you.
Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
It’s considered sexy if you don‘t wear any.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
No ties are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You’re never embarrassed to stand up.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
At least you know why people laugh at how you dress.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
Everything on the top of your head stays in its original place.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades!
The same hair lasts.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You’re not weird if you shave more than that.
You can play with toys all your life.
You can have sex all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
Your big breasts are usually a plus.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour for all seasons.
‘Seasonal’ doesn’t mean either a heavy wool suit or a light wool suit.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can wear shorts to work.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You can have your nails “done.”
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You’re not unhappy if you can’t.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
People actually like what you get them.

Equality? Never.
Equality? Never.

James

Chris said...

Point well taken, James.

Viva la difference!

chux said...

nice reply from James

This subject does open up a can or worms when you think about it. Often so-called equality just ends up isolating a different group.

For me, men and woman have always been equal but just different.