Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Bottoms up!!!

When I was trekking through the car park at Tesco's this morning I thought of a witty and amusing post I could do about low slung jeans, fat bums and tums, mediaeval torture and healthy eating. I've just sat for 20 minutes trying to remember all the witticisms and cryptic thoughts that were going through my head this morning only to find that everything I write sounds banal and stupid (nothing new there then). It'll be a miracle if this paragraph makes it to the published page!

I have never understood how men with beer bellies keep their trousers up; I suppose they're just hooked up on their bums.

Snippet of conversation overheard in said car park: He, "Well I was only following you." She, "Yeah, that's what I mean. How could you be following me? I'm behind you."

I hate Tesco's. I only went there because I wanted a cheap radio and the car valeted. As it happened they only had four radios in stock and only one of those was priced so I ended up going into Curry's, which I hate even more. Curry's staff are great at talking among themselves but not so good at serving customers so I came out of there, once more vowing never to darken their shopfloor again! The happy ending is that I got a great dab radio in Argos which cost me almost nothing because I used my Nectar points. Hooray!!!


Liz said...

I'm glad someone else does that: writes brilliant posts in her head and then forgets the best lines.

I was in Sainsburys yesterday and only just stopped myself in time from grabbing a lad's jeans from round the top of his legs and yanking them up. 'No, he's not yours! You mustn't.'

Chris said...

Yes, I've decided that ALL of my brilliant posts are thought of at times when it hasn't been practical to write them. They therefore remain as brilliant thoughts, rattling around and getting lost in the desolate wastes of my brain. Wouldn't it be good if, once you had departed this life, there were people who were mind discoverers (you know, somewhat like Howard Carter who discovered Tutankhamun's tomb). They could explore your brain and find all of those hidden gems that you thought were lost forever. Trouble is, you wouldn't be around to take credit for them.

Liz said...

And I'm not entirely sure if I would want anyone discovering my mind! At least not while my children are still alive to be mortified!

Clare said...

recently the Oxford Dictionary updated itself to add the words "muffin top" (roll of fat at the top of jeans) and "bingo wings". I want to know what the word is for men who have their trousers on round their backsides...And how on earth do they stay up?
(Maybe the word should be "omzda", verification word of the day)