Thursday, August 10, 2006

Boo hoo

Today I'm really fed-up and depressed. Trivial things first:

1. Thomas doesn't much like the summer playscheme he's at this week (or bits of it) so has been
coming home unhappy most days. Still only today and tomorrow to go and then he can be
home with me complaining that he's 'bored'. Will have to think of some interesting things to
do.
2. I was persuaded by the optician on Monday to try contact lenses. I have now had two lessons
on how to put them in and take them out. First lesson I could take them out but not put
them in, second lesson I could put them in but not take them out. Supposed to be going back
tomorrow but still have very red, sore eyes so I think I'll wait awhile.

Now the non-trivial things:

1. Yesterday I called into our little post office around the corner and was treated to a display
of violent, foul-mouthed yobishness by two youths being served before me. Whilst they
were not threatening anyone directly, only discussing the way they lived their lives in
general, I felt scared and vulnerable and I'm sure that the poor man serving them did too.
The sad part is that for them this was a perfectly normal conversation and if anyone had
objected it would have been perfectly normal to have reacted in what they would have
considered an appropriate manner, i.e. violently.
2. Today Jo is supposed to be going to Geneva for a long weekend break. However, due to the
terrorist alert it's possible that she may not be able to go. She has been looking forward to
this trip very much. On the one hand I am disappointed for her if she can't go but a part of
me doesn't really WANT her to go given the current situation.

I could go on and on about wars people don't want, etc.
I'm angry that people have to have these feelings of fear, frustration and anxiety.
I want to live the rest of my life without feeling threatened and intimidated.
I don't know how that's going to be achieved.

.....................................................................................................................................................................

I started this post yesterday but didn't publish it, thinking I'd wait, see how I feel today then either delete it, change it or go ahead. Yesterday, because of the mood I was in, I seemed to notice and take to heart all the impatience, discourtesy, disrespect and unfriendliness that seems to be around these days. It's always there but usually I try to remain friendly and polite myself, accept others for what they are and get on with it.

Today I feel a bit better.
Thomas isn't going to the playscheme (my decision, but with his full approval!).
We're going to spend some time today planning some days out for next week.
Jo is booked on an early flight to Geneva on Sunday (she would still have 2 full days away) but is going to spend the next 2 days trying to bring that forward if possible.
I've cancelled my appointment with the contact lens professors.
We'll probably go out for lunch.
If I start to feel low then I'll just imagine myself a bit younger and think of Johnny Depp. (I was going to put a picture here but Blogger won't do it!)

PS Is it a requirement for all rail ticket clerks to be surly and miserable? because the always seem to be. One of the lighter moments of my day, yesterday: I went to buy a railcard in preparation for next week's outings. After that transaction was completed, me being polite and speaking in full sentences, he answering in grunts, if at all, I noticed that the name on his badge was Roy Rogers. I was sorely tempted to ask after Trigger but thought I'd better not push my luck!!

3 comments:

Liz said...

Oh I wish you had! I sometimes say things that come into my head - and usually regret it because the other person just looks at me. in that way, y'know.

It's doctors' receptionists that get me - but I won't start on that.

I'll just say hope you're feeling more yourself and try not to worry about Jo. (Yeah, right!)

Htexkhq - that's what roy rogers was, isn't it?

chux said...

Shame about Jo's trip i've just been reading her blog too.

The news has been so depressing lately with death, destruction and violence. It breaks my heart, I didn't sign up for this and I don't want my kids living in a world like it. This planet has so much to offer us and is so beautiful when left to its own devices.

Anyway didnt mean this to be a negative comment, more a case of you're not alone in the way you feel.

Hope you had a nice weekend and enjoying the time with your grandson. (thats right isnt it?)

Chris said...

Thanks, Chux, it's always good to get your comments.

I did go on to enjoy the rest of the week (and weekend) with Thomas (and Jo). Will write about that soon.